Jokes !

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about sport........

What part of a football pitch smells nicest ?
The scenter spot !
Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space ?
Because there is no atmosphere !
What's the chilliest ground in the premiership ?
Cold Trafford !
How did the football pitch end up as triangle ?
Somebody took a corner !
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?
Both do hat tricks !
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ?
All of them, a crossbar can't jump !
Why are football players never asked for dinner ?
Because they're always dribbling !
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ?
Because he liked sole music !

What tea do footballers drink ?
Penaltea !
Where do footballers dance ?
At a football !
What did the bumble bee striker say ?
Hive scored !
What is black and white and black and white and black and white ?
A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill !
What are Brazilian fans called ?
Brazil nuts !
Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?
He was the skipper !
What lights up a football stadium ?
A football match !
If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls ?
Cornflakes !
Which football team loves ice-cream ?
Aston Vanilla !
What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?
Beans on post !

How do hens encourage their football teams ?
They egg them on !
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches ?
They prefer cricket matches !
Why did the chicken get sent off ?
For persistent fowl play !
Why didn't the dog want to play football ?
It was a boxer !
Which insect didn't play well in goal ?
The fumble bee !
Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ?
Webley stadium !
When fish play football, who is the captain ?
The team's kipper !
Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market ?
They tend to go cheep !
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts !
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats ?
They might be cheetahs !